"In total silence, total invisibility, when no one knows your name, when no one judges, when no one even looks — what do you choose to do, who do you choose to be?"
A few years ago I remember experimenting with this with anonymous alts on Twitter. I didn't know what to make of the fact that I pretty much ended up being... exactly like I am, trying to be a kind friendly nerd. I got a bit more grandiose and dramatic when I didn't have to worry coming across as "sane" or "well-adjusted".
This question does make me want to revisit this feeling to see if anything has changed; thanks for sharing Nix!
"Ask yourself this: In total silence, total invisibility, when no one knows your name, when no one judges, when no one even looks — what do you choose to do, who do you choose to be?"
I grew up seeking external validation to a point where that was my only source of the feeling of worthiness. Trying to break away from this detrimental pattern is a journey I have embarked upon, but it's not the easiest or the quickest road to take.
As always, great piece. Therapy this week was determining “who is doing the judging” and how compassionate that person is (not at all). I would definitely agree with the idea of inner warmth and satisfaction when it comes to writing; it feels amazing when I’m in a flow state and it’s an extension of myself.
It's difficult, isn't it, to understand and rationalise to oneself what one really needs, but then to be swept away by life events, and having to re-calibrate again once in a while?
"Coming home. It’s been my mirror — when I’m frustrated, heartbroken, burned out, exhausted — it shows me who I am, the most beautiful version. As a kid I was always writing poems, journaling. In many ways writing was my secret, sacred place, where I felt most free. " --> Beautifully said. I truly love the way you write. Thank you for sharing it with the world!
in love with competence
"In total silence, total invisibility, when no one knows your name, when no one judges, when no one even looks — what do you choose to do, who do you choose to be?"
A few years ago I remember experimenting with this with anonymous alts on Twitter. I didn't know what to make of the fact that I pretty much ended up being... exactly like I am, trying to be a kind friendly nerd. I got a bit more grandiose and dramatic when I didn't have to worry coming across as "sane" or "well-adjusted".
This question does make me want to revisit this feeling to see if anything has changed; thanks for sharing Nix!
"Ask yourself this: In total silence, total invisibility, when no one knows your name, when no one judges, when no one even looks — what do you choose to do, who do you choose to be?"
I grew up seeking external validation to a point where that was my only source of the feeling of worthiness. Trying to break away from this detrimental pattern is a journey I have embarked upon, but it's not the easiest or the quickest road to take.
As always, great piece. Therapy this week was determining “who is doing the judging” and how compassionate that person is (not at all). I would definitely agree with the idea of inner warmth and satisfaction when it comes to writing; it feels amazing when I’m in a flow state and it’s an extension of myself.
It's difficult, isn't it, to understand and rationalise to oneself what one really needs, but then to be swept away by life events, and having to re-calibrate again once in a while?
What a piece of writing. It reminded me what I also love doing it.
fwiw it seems like everybody wants and enjoys this feeling of being useful
maybe some people are able to experience it more than others, and then index on it relatively more than average
"Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness." - Yousuf Karsh
I can relate to this. Thank you.
"Coming home. It’s been my mirror — when I’m frustrated, heartbroken, burned out, exhausted — it shows me who I am, the most beautiful version. As a kid I was always writing poems, journaling. In many ways writing was my secret, sacred place, where I felt most free. " --> Beautifully said. I truly love the way you write. Thank you for sharing it with the world!